NGAKAK BANGET SATT, ORG ORG GATAU DIRII

it’s like as if suicide is the only option for me

why is evwrything so one sided for me, even a mother n daughter relationship

kepikiran

 kadang kepikiran apa yg org puskesmas itu blg “kamu itu masih punya banyak potensi, masa depanmu masih jauh” tapi mangea

i fucking hate my mother

everytime i cry i see the little curled up and cry more like a baby, everytime. it hurts to see him be so hopeless of everything, it hurts for me to see him wishing he had better parents, it hurts to see hum doubt his abilities to grow as a person, i wish the world wasnt so cruel to him, then maybe u could be a better person. maybe i wouldnt be crying over little things, maybe i would have loved myself even more.

if i only i had a loving and caring mom who would see me more than an asset, if only i had a loving dad who would be there for me when i needed him.

i cant even trust my own blood and flesh, it’s just myself out here trying to find a way so i could escape but it seems like everything is just a void atp. 

LIFE UPDATE!! i hate being a woman

i fucked up

 it’s my fault, everything that goes bad to me i believe it’s been like that as a karma of the faults i did in the past. i feel as if i distance myself from the people who truly care for me and i cannot control it, i try even if it hurts but i cannot, it’s a punishment for me for being selfish, i hate being aware of everything i do, i hate having to cry and make my skin dry just from doing something that seems out of my comfort zone, i hate being a burden, i’m tiring other people and i know that. 

im sorry

if i fuck everything up.